As we continue the process of seeking God for a new Christ awakening in America, we have been encouraging and resourcing married couples in their relationship. (What do healthy marriages have to do with awakening?). We want to give you a few key insights on how to keep your marriage alive.
1. Humility
God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5-6) People resist the proud too. It’s important to remember that difficult places are often the result of mistakes; many of which are yours. Now is the time for humility. Examine your own role in the situation. Ask God to help you see your sin. I find it’s best to remind myself that the biggest problem in my marriage is not my spouse… it’s me! Take care not to blame shift; God opposes the proud.
2. Time
We often think of our lives as a culmination of a few big, life-altering decisions, but actually our existence is comprised of thousands of daily choices. If you are married for any length of time, you know how easily you let the ordinary take over your lives. This comforting familiarity easily gives way to complacency. You may end up settling for way less than what God desires for our marriage. It takes a certain level of intentionality to break out of this. Luckily, it doesn’t have to be hard.
One of the simplest things you can do today is take time for your spouse. Take 15 minutes to sit facing each other and talk about what’s on your mind. It doesn’t have to be deep. Make it a priority. Even if you have young ones running around the house, taking that daily ‘Mommy & Daddy’ time will have a lasting impact on your children.
3. Remember
The Biblical purpose for your marriage is not your satisfaction. That just happens to be a wonderful byproduct. Marriage is God’s idea, and it is meant to reveal the glory of God.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Remembering why we do the things we do is always good. If you’re constantly frustrated and angry in your marriage, perhaps you have forgotten that marriage isn’t about getting what you think you deserve. It is a model of Christ and the Church. It is a symbol of our salvation, leaving the old life and clinging tightly to Him.
Yes, your troubles are real and I’m sure your complaints are valid, but try to take your eyes off yourself today. So humble yourself, give the gift of time to your spouse, and remember what it’s all about… the glory of God.
“Staying married is not about staying in love” –John Piper
“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)